March 7, 2008 Friday

Breast cancer.

Malignant.

Invasive.

The image on the x-ray is that of an erupting volcano: a spire with streaks of fire and lava flow. Fascinating. We are part and parcel of this universe. We are irrevocably connected. So why wouldn't we have volcanos in our body, dormant, waiting to blow at a moment's notice?

Life is a journey. I've been to more than 20 countries around the world. I love travel. I always want to know what's around the bend . . . sometimes the grass is greener. This is definitely a different journey. But I'm curious about what there will be along the path.

The first question: "Can I get through this without anyone knowing?" I hate dealing with illness and really hate being treated like an invalid, which is the normal reaction . . . that or a dreadful look of pity. But the answer was "No. That's impossible." So I've decided to openly discuss this whole process with the hope that it will help someone else and maybe develop a funding source for people who have no financial wiggle room. Thus this web site.

The second question: "Is the fear greater than the pain or the process?"

The third question is related to finances. What does Cancer cost? Can I afford it, even with insurance? Are there resources for small subsidies for unexpected medication?

And then: What about these volcanos in our bodies and the relationship to medicine: Do doctors have to study earth sciences, geology, mineralogy. If not, why not?

Stage One.